101 Days! A Recap (#101)

FADE IN ON:

COMPUTER SCREEN

So close it has no boundaries.

A PHONE begins to RING.

SCREEN

Wow! 101 days of blogging! I can’t believe I’ve made it this far after everything I’ve been through.  If you’ve been following me on this journey then you’ll know how tough it’s been.

The PHONE continues to ring, relentlessly annoying, until –

MAN (V.O.)

Hello?

WOMAN (V.O.)

One huge penis dude, he’s back.

MAN (V.O.)

Fuck, I don’t have time for this shit, how did he get back online?

WOMAN (V.O.)

I don’t know, it’s the first time he’s got through since-

MAN (V.O.)

Read it.

WOMAN (V.O.)

Do I have to? He writes the same shit every single day!  I think he just uses copy and paste.  We’ve done the world a huge favour blocking-

MAN (V.O.)

Do your job, goddamit! Read it to me. You know the prophecy!

The entire screen fills with words, faster and faster, clearly not copy and pasted.

SCREEN

101 days is a lot of days by anyone’s standards except maybe by the standards of someone sentenced to life in prison in which case 101 days is a drop in the ocean of a wasted life.  Sometimes I think the oneaday challenge is a self imposed year-long prison sentence in itself, but then I realise it’s not really and that the real prison sentence is the one I’m serving at the moment for a crime I didn’t commit.  I was framed by some mysterious forces at work.  All I know is that there was a man and a woman.

WOMAN (V.O.)

Fuck, he’s on to us. He knows I’m a woman.

MAN (V.O.)

Shut it down! Shut it down now!

We begin MOVING TOWARD the screen.

SCREEN

I still can’t go into details,

MAN (V.O.)

Thank fuck for that.

We begin MOVING AWAY from the screen.

SCREEN

suffice to say that I’m doing everything I can to bring the people responsible to justice.  The fact that I’m in prison at the moment and all I’ve got to go on is that there was a man and a woman invloved is a bit of problem.  But I’ve not lost hope thanks to this blog.  It’s been a real challenge but I’m so glad to have completed 101 days.  If you haven’t been following my metaphorical trials and tribulations and my literal unjust trial over these past 101 days, here’s a quick recap of all my blog:

Blog #1 – On New Years Day, I wrote an experimental blog which grappled with the notion: “What if The Matrix was a blog?”

Wow, so many blog!  I just don’t know how I did it.  Reading through that list of blog really brings back all the good memory.  If the recap has given you a taste for some of my previous blog then I would really recommend you work your way through my back catalogue to catch up.

WOMAN (V.O.)

Wait, what? The Matrix? What does that mean?

A CLICK is followed by a DIAL TONE.

TO BE CONTINUED…

…ON A REGULAR BASIS…(PROBABLY EVERY 101 DAYS)

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FADE IN (#1)

FADE IN ON:

COMPUTER SCREEN

So close it has no boundaries.

A blinking cursor pulses in the electric white-light like a heart coursing with black ink, burning beneath the derma of murky glass.

A PHONE begins to RING, we hear it as though we were making the call. The cursor continues to throb, relentlessly patient, until —

MAN (V.O.)

Hello?

Words now appear across the screen. Sentences forming extremely slowly.

SCREEN

It’s New Year’s Day 2011 and I’ve decided to start a blog.  I’d like to remain anonymous at this stage – who knows who could be reading this, ha. Ha, ha.  You can call me fadeout7.

WOMAN (V.O.)

It’s started.  He calls himself fadeout7.

MAN (V.O.)

Keep reading.

WOMAN (V.O.)

Do I have to?

MAN (V.O.)

Do your job, goddamit! The future of the world could depend on this.

The entire screen fills with words, faster and faster, words forming sentences, sentences forming paragraphs.  Words separated by punctuation.  Other words forming lists with bullet points.

SCREEN

Why am I doing this blog? That’s not a simple question to answer like how does quantum physics and time travel work (for the answer to that question, go to my March 12 2014 blog: An Idiots Guide to Quantum Physics and Time Travel).  But back to the original question: why blog? why now? why now blog? why? The answer is complicated.  Here are some words that make up the answer (in no particular order):

  • writing
  • practicing
  • experimenting
  • matmurray
  • truth
  • Nelson Mandela
  • lies
  • oneaday
  • halycopter
  • feedback
  • Richard Herring

I’ll expand on these in future blogs, perhaps tomorrow, perhaps not.

WOMAN (V.O.)

He doesn’t know anything. He’s an idiot.

MAN (V.O.)

Wait.

We begin MOVING TOWARD the screen, CLOSING IN as each letter follows the next to form words.

SCREEN

Today, I’m just one man with one blog (and one huge penis) but tomorrow I’ll be one man with two blogs (and one huge penis) and by the end of year I could be one man with 365 blogs (and one huge penis).  That’s 365 times as many blogs as I’ve got today, and did I mention one huge penis.  Who knows, maybe…just maybe…with enough blogs and my one huge penis I can change the world.

WOMAN (V.O.)

Fuck.

MAN (V.O.)

I knew it. The prophecy was right. He knows about the blogs and the penis.

WOMAN (V.O.)

One huge penis.

MAN (V.O.)

We have to stop him blogging. The fate of the world depends on it.

WOMAN (V.O.)

Plus, it’s shit.

TO BE CONTINUED…

 

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